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A Number of Irrational Fears

by Mitchell McDonough

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angela woolley
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angela woolley Quirky, interesting, ropey but nice :) Favorite track: Autopilot.
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1.
Board Games 01:58
On the tip of my tongue there are words that I could say to make you laugh or make you dance or make you'd wanna stay. But my mouth doesn't move, and as night turns into day, your smile fades away. I drove my car into the nearest lake to see if any part of me could still float. My life's an inside joke I'm a board game too long to set up. and now I'm choking up.
2.
Autopilot 02:31
I'm the car that you have but you never drive I'm a baby blue bird too timid to fly. and I could write thousands of thousands of songs but you could still kill me with just a word. I'm awful at getting better, but I'm great at getting bitter. My glass ain't even half-empty, I promise you I would have drank it all by now. Some days I feel like I've got it all wrong, but maybe someone would listen if I put it in a song. If I had it my way I would choose to standby- put my life on autopilot until I die, because even simple things like flipping a coin freak me out because I can't ever make a choice.
3.
Now, all I hear are cars across concrete the sound of a smirk, and the look of defeat. Now, all I like can be written down on a single page, I'll call it all out without even a hint of delay. There's too many sad friends, I'm tired of always having to pick up your chins. Because my heart is too nice to ever say "no". I'm a three-year-old girl who just wants to put on a show. I think if I tried I'd make a good bookmark, but my family tree is carved out of hard bark. How much longer until I start living for today and not tell myself it's all up to fate? I'm a human target, dartboard. What does it mean if I find talking a chore? Maybe the sun has gotten used to going down because we traded our smiles in for frowns. I'd give all my riches just for single day not to hear any of my private school friends complain. I'd give all my riches for one single day, I just don't wanna hear any of my friends complain.
4.
Oh the little things can have the biggest change- take a look at me, I'm a prime example and appreciate what this earth gives you, I promise it's not so bad, it'll hurt a little. Now look at me, then at the stars, at the moon, and then afar you'll realize the beauty and everything that you've been given will matter no more, you'll be living new and whole. So, one more time, take a chance throw off your shoes and try to dance, there's a time for everything. In a moment you will see no more stress or calamity and you'll just smile. Oh the little things can have the biggest change- take a look at me, I'm a prime example.
5.
All my friends are falling in love and that's okay. My way of life is musical chairs, I never learned how to play. I'm gonna start using words of which I know the definitions. I'm gonna stop being so consistently inconsistent. I will go to church and tithe ten percent, wake up in the morning and not throw a fit. I'm gonna buy my dog a big ole treat and have conversations with everybody I meet. I'm gonna call my dad and tell him he's the best. Get all my secrets, get them off my chest. I would buy you a bouquet of roses if I knew it wouldn't wilt. I'm not ready to let you go, but I think I will. and I'm gonna start using words of which I know the definitions. I'm gonna stop being so consistently inconsistent. I will drink water by the quart, and I will buy my family life support.
6.
"I wanna be that place that you always run to whenever you feel alone." "But sometimes it's so hard to impress you when I always feel so far from home." "I wanna be that spark that sets you off, makes you feel so alive." "It's like I'm dying but not really wanting to; give me another reason to continue to strive." So if I only exist for the next couple minutes just know that would be alright. I know that that was then and that this is now, still I can't help but focus on why. I miss you like that lover that I've never had. I could run to you and relate to you and confess everything whether it be good or bad Are you here? Are you listening? I can't knock to this door. But when I could it simply said "Sorry Mitchell, you can't enter here anymore." We could have built a fortress around you and me and no one could touch us, not even our enemies. Our friends would all get jealous, they'd laugh, get pretty mean. Truth be told, I don't mind, they can't feel what we're feeling.
7.
Clouds 02:24
As swiftly as I came, I'll usher myself right out through the cracks in the floorboards not making a sound. I'm tracing back the clouds to the borders where I cannot see anymore, and I realize even they're moving on. So why can't I just take my own advice? I am slowly realizing why all good things must come to an end. And I've come to this obvious conclusion through separation and malcontent. Look around, all my friends are moving on. So why can't I take that as advice? So why can't I take my own advice? oh, I swear I will eventually.

about

I recorded this using Travis' mic that his mom bought off amazon because it was on sale. I borrowed the pop screen from Mike, used Prestonwood's computer, and I drank cokes and green tea religiously throughout the process.
Special thanks to: my Mom and Dad, Travis (GOF forever!), Michael, McCall, Mikayla, Hayden, and Andrea.

credits

released July 31, 2013

All songs written and recorded by Mitchell.
All instruments played by Mitchell.
Artwork by Mikayla McDonough

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Mitchell McDonough Plano, Texas

I play guitar and sing in Cheap Haircuts, this is where I post demos and other fun stuff.

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